It really makes me think like when people make you seem that valuable as a friend, person, being with words, but actions seem to always reflect less that you really aren’t shit…! Am i supposed to think this way, or shall i always remember what they told me at first with their words and run with that, or should i start looking at them as bullshitters??? I must say this is a quarrel i seem to find myself running into various times and for plenty of situations as i usually don’t know how to handle these situations except cast myself away further into the mist, knowing it is not worth losing myself over petty, but at the same time realize that i am just a walking contradiction to myself, an open scroll that just doesn’t know how to duck from the head shots that always aim for my head, that I secretly spring on myself, I can’t just spit it out. The glum glums are always out to get me, but why? Is it because my cause? Sadly it’s all a mind game. Reality is mine, but why does it feel so distant from my grasp… I want comrades and the appreciation and to be respected for my feats and contributions to this society, but it just feels so far away. I know i got what i want and need all in my hand, but will I prosper with belief that I really can make it all come to fruition, and that the game, this game, is really that easy? Why do I let muthafuckas and this society succeed, stand over me and bring me down, when I easily have the mind to spark a change in my life as well as others, when I live LOST. But will others respect and accept my contributions? my ideas? my character? ME???? This is only the beginning and it’s only going to get worse. Will I be prepared? I got myself, yet I know I easily can’t do this alone. Though the thought of individuality and the inspiration to change a whole nation, the world, let alone create my own, if challenged and persistent enough, gives me goals and desires for my bucket list,but can i do this all alone and defeat the so called impossible that society limits on us. I wanna be the one that can say they did or at least tried breaking the barriers and limitations that society and this world has placed, let alone showcase the thought that anybody can conquer anything, long as you instill it in your reality. FUCK LOGIC, FUCK WHAT’S CONSIDERED REAL. The terms are soooo played out these days that the perception of real is blurred, let alone a trend guided from other eyes and minds. What’s real is what we want to be real, yet that seems to be a very complex idea to grasp, even for myself. I truthfully can do what I wanna do without anybody as I don’t need nobody sticking up for me or their approval, yet the power that can springboard by having others support and respect and just that extra comfort of being there could triple my effect, with my wants, needs, goals, sanity, life…yet this could all come to me if I just believe in myself and don’t let society’s make up of this ILLUSION of a SUB REALITY we live in conquer what’s mine, my mind, MY REALITY…Marty where are you cuhman??? But I digress…! Pink Seas SOOON…! Lost on me…!
Conversations with the Mind #3